How Grief Shows Up Differently in Adults Than You Might Expect

When you picture someone who is grieving, you might picture someone who can’t get out of bed, cries all the time, or struggles to keep up with everyday life. But grief doesn’t always look like that. Sometimes it looks like answering emails, getting the kids to school, making dinner, showing up to work, and telling everyone, “I’m fine.” From the outside, you may look like you’re doing okay. Inside, you’re wondering when you’re going to feel like yourself again.

Grief can show up in quieter ways. You might keep yourself constantly busy because slowing down means having space to think. You may feel more anxious about the people you love, with an unanswered phone call suddenly sending your mind to the worst possible place. You might get irritated when someone complains about their mom or dad because you’d give anything to have yours here to annoy you. Or maybe you find yourself thinking, I should be doing better by now, even though there’s no actual timeline you’re supposed to be following.

Sometimes the hardest part is that everyone else sees how well you’re functioning and assumes that means you’re okay. You become the strong one. You keep putting one foot in front of the other. Meanwhile, you’re tired of surviving your days on autopilot and wondering whether life will ever really feel like yours again.

If any of this feels familiar, you don’t have to wait until you’re falling apart to reach out for support. As a grief therapist who has also experienced the loss of both of my parents, I understand how complicated it can be to miss someone deeply while also wanting to feel present in your own life again. If you’re in Colorado and looking for virtual grief therapy, reach out to AK Hayes Therapy to learn more about working together. ❤️